it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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