Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think i have herpe
just one?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
