so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
