We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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