Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Randomize
