we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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