my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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