It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
