i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
