what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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