Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
