Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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