needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
