Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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