I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
