Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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