so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize