PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
