i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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