He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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