We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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