meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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