this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
