**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
