u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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