Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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