I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
