I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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