Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
