dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
