No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
