dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
