I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
