He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
