i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
