so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I believe in your delicious
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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