i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
