Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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