what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
