yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
