i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
