yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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