May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
