Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
