She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
