and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
