I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We just shotgunned beers for America
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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