Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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