I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
