I cockslap morals
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
