So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pants 0. Shit 1.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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